Off to war
by Viez
Summary: Robert gets a letter which calls him into actionin France. I decided to write on... This story will not focus on the war and shootings and all that stuff but on the true love between Cora and Robert...
1. Letter

_Hey guys, so I changed my mind and decided to write this story on... some of the chapters are losely based on my grandmothers stories she told me about my grandfather when he was drafte to WWII (Though he was not that glad and proud aboutit ;-) ) Hope you enjoy it and please review!_

„Good Morning, Darling, what do we owe the honor of your rare sight at breakfast?", Robert asked as he came in and saw his wife sitting beside his youngest daughter.

„Your mother and Cousin Isobel are coming, and it would make their day if they found me in bed", Cora said into her coffee cup looking not really happy.

Carson came in the mail and Robert handed one letter to Sybill. Then he opened another letter and said: „ Well this is interesting".

„I hope good news, please I cannot bare bad news not when I have to face Cousin Isobel and your mother in a few minutes."

None oft hem realized that Sybill ovbiously got bad news in her letter.

„It seems that they want me back in active service again. I am leaving for France next week.", Robert exclaimed proudly but his mood quickly changed when he saw the concern on his wife's face and Sybill cried: „NO, not you too Papa. You will get killed just like everyone…. Mama will get a letter just as i did now." Then she dashed off.

„Sybill, your father will not get killed", Cora shouted after her daugher trying to sound brave but Robert could here her voice shaking.

Then she excused herself and went after her youngest.

The rest oft he day Robert could feel that Cora and Sybill avoided him if possible.

He was preparing for his leaving and went upstairs rather late. He had told Bates that he will manage on his own. When he came into the main bedroom silently he could hear Cora cry. When she realized he was in the room she stopped but when he switched on the light on his side he could see the marks of tears on her face.

He crawled into bed and took her into his arms asking: „What is wrong honey?"

She lay down on his ches and said: „Robert you perfectly know what's wrong. You've been called into action today and announced it so gladly and you should have seen the pride in your face. Did you really think your family would be happy to see you go off into a dangerous war?"

„Cora it is an honor for me that they still want me after all these years! It is quite a time since the last war.", Robert tried to explain.

„Yes luckily but it was hard for me then and it will be hard for me now. I am not sure if I could bare losing you.", she began crying again and Robert could do nothing but let her do so while he thought about her words and stroke her hair. After a while he could feel her breath going more relaxed and he knew she was asleep but she was clinging to his body, so he tried to fall asleep in half sitting position. Everytime he tried to move she groaned and so it was a long time before he finally fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Waiting

Chapter 2:

_Shots, explosions, blood, falling soldiers, wounded screaming for their mothers. He and some other guys were running right into the direction the machine gun shots were coming from._

_Beside him a soldier ask: „Sergant orders, what orders"_

_Robert answered: „Seek shelter and fire…this is suicide, simply suicide", before jumping into a hole a shell had created. In there about 10 other man were lying some injured, some unharmed…. Looking at him with fear, afraid he would shot them for cowardness._

_Robert had no idea what was going on. He was trying hard tot hink about an idea to get tot he other side alive…suddenly a rather slim, rather feminine looking soldier ran past him. He could not see the face but something reminded him of somebody. Then a new blast of machine gun fire came from the other side. The soldier fell screaming like a woman. Now lying on the back Robert could see the soldier's pale face, the blue eyes opened._

„_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", he yelled and started running towards the still body. Then he held the soldier close, not caring what happened around him. Suddenly the pale face showed emothions again. „Robert?! Robert wake up!"._

He slowly opened his eyes…."Cora`?" He was still looking in Cora's blue eyes but they looked very alive and at the moment full of concern at him.

He could not help but pull her close to him. „Cora, you are alive, thank god", then he began sobbing.

„Of course I am honey, why shouldn't I be. You had just a bad dream. Would you like to speak about it?"

„I dreamed that I was in France already, in the middle of a fight and then a soldier who had your figure passed me and got shot. And while he fell he turned around and it was you.", he told her between sobbing on her chest. She stroke his hair and motherly said: „Shhhh honey, shh… it's allrihgt. Try to sleep."

Now it was Robert who clinged to his wife till he fell into a deep sleep. Cora for her part stayed awake and imagined Robert in a dugout, dirty all over, waiting fort he whistle that signalled the attack. She did not let her imagination go on,because she knew it would be dreadful and would make her even more worried and frightend.

The following days Robert could see that his girls and Cora were not avoiding him anymore. On the contrary they were nearly clinging on him whenever they could, trying to spend as much time with him as possible. Cora went with him on his walks, talking about everything except his leaving for france that came nearer with big steps.

The night before he left for France his mother came for dinner. Unusally the dinner went by without his mother's sharp comments about Cora or things the girls did wrong. He even caught her squeezing Cora's hand twice reassuringly. There was concern and fear in her eyes. Fear of a mother who could lose her child.

When he lead her out tot he car, she said: „Robert you know you have 4 women in there who love you very much and one is standing right in front of you. Try not to get killed!", then she took his face into her hands, pulled him down and kissed his forehead.

Carson observed the scene at the door and saw the Dowagar Countess raising a handkerchief to her eyes when she had turned to move out oft he door.

Robert waited for his mother to entert he car. Then he returned tot he living rooml It was unusally quiet.

„Where is your mother, girls", Robert asked.

„She excused herself . She said she was not feeling well.", Mary said. She and her sisters kept staring at him. Then all of a sudden all three of them jumped up and hugged him, kissing him on his cheek. Then they too vanished without saying another word out of the room.

Robert now left alone sat in front of the fire and thought about the past and the future. He promised himself and the women he so dearly loved to return from that war.

When he finally went upstairs he caught Cora kneeling beside oft h their bed and pray. He only could hear the last words before she stood up and went to bed.

„Dear Lord, please please bring him home save and unharmed!"

He entered the room as if he did not hear her prayers. „Are you allright? The girls told me you were not feeling well."

„Oh I am fine thanks. I just wanted tob e alone for some time. Not that the girls were in the mood of partying tonight, none of us is but…"

Robert came to bed and hugged her. The hug turned into a kiss and the kiss turned into passion. Both of them knowing that this would be the very last time they made love to each other for months maybe years. Afterwards Robert held Cora in his arms. Neither oft hem slept that night they did not want to spend the last hours they saw each other of a long time sleeping.


	3. Departure

Chapter 3

_So here we go… please rewview! I kinda wrote this after the stories my grandmother told me about my grandfather's departure to WWII. Hope you like it._

Shortly before his departure, Robert took Carson aside. „Mr. Carson I hope I can rely on you watching for my daughters and my wife. You know all oft hem and if anything serious happens please do not hestitate to write to me.", Robert lay a hand on Carson's shoulder, which surprised the butler very much.

Then Robert went tot he hall where all the rest oft he staff had formed a guard of honor. It reminded him a bit of spectators making place for the convict to be executed but of course he knew it was not meant that way. At the end, right at the opened front door his family was waiting. Cora was dressed as he had thought she would see him off at the station. His daughters would wave their good byes here at the house. When he passed the servants and looked into the eyes of some them they nodded slightly .

Then it was time. His girls tried hard not to cry but he could see tears in their eyes. Cora stepped aside knowing wellt hat her time to say good bye would come soon enough. Again nobody said a word and again all three girls fell around his neck at once. He had trouble to keep his balance. He hugged them back tightly not caring about the servants seing all this. He perfectly knew that it could be the very last time he saw his daughters. Then he broke o fand kissed each of his daughters on the forehead before turnig around to Cora who smiled at him. However it was a sad smile. Then they linked arms and went to the car. He helped her in and turned around one last time tot he house, the servants and his beautiful daughters, trying to inhale every detail.

Branson who was driving the car looked into the back mirror from time to time and realized his Lord and Ladyship holding hands. Normally they would never do this in public but htis was not a normal situation. He knew that they would have to say goodbye shortly and both oft hem seem to know that this could be the last time they saw each other.

Then they arrived at the station and Branson opened the door. Her Ladyship out first but she nearly fell as her knees gave in. Branson caught her and said: „you allright?"

At the same moment his Lordship hurried around the car: „Cora, are you sure you want to do this?"

„Yes Robert I am allright, I just stumbled.", then she went on very stiffly as if she had to concetrate on her steps.

„Branson after I have left take her to my mother no mather what she says. I know they do not get on too well, but I have the feeling that they could comfort each other in this situation.!

„Very well sir.", Branson said. „Ah and sir it would be my pleasure to come for you tot he station at your next leave." Rbert smiled at him knowing what the chauffeur meant with thease wird's. Then he turned around and hurried to his wife who was waiting in some distance.

The train was already there but the train staff was giving soldiers some minutes to say goodbye to their families.

Robert took Cora's hands and kissed them. Then they looked in each others eyes knowing each other so wellt hat no words were necessary. Then Cora tried anyway: „Robert….I….you…", but she could not create any sentence. „shhhh honey I know." Then he hugged her first and kissed her on her lips afterwards. He did not care that half the village could see them. He did not care about the gossip. He was simply asoldier now who kissed his wife goodbye. From her reaction she did not care either. She hugged him back and returned the kiss, clinging to him not letting him go. He smelled at her hair her skin, trying to inhale the scent of her parfume as i fit would help him remembering her. Though he knew htat he could never forget her face. Then he cut off the embrace and borded the train. She gave him her handkerchief. Then the train took off. He looked out oft he window back tot he station as long as he could see his wifes's figure, that got smaller and smaller, till it was gone.


	4. Violet's advice

Chapter 4:

Cora kept standing on the plattform long after the train had gone out of sight.

„That's it", she just thought „Now only hope and prayers are left"

„Your Ladyship are you allright?", a voice asked suddenly beside her. She jumped and turned around. It was Branson: „I am sorry I did not intend to scar you but I was concerned. It has been half an hour since the train has left…"

„Sorry Branson I was thinking and then I must have lost track of time." She tried to walk to the car but again she could feel her knees shaking.

Branson saw this, then he looked around if anyone was still at the station but they were the only two left. So he offered her his arm and she gratefully took it.

When they were at the car she said: „Thank you Mr. Branson. Now take me home."

„I am sorry your ladyship I cannot do that."

„But why? You decided no start your rebellation now because my husband is gone?"

„No Milady his Lordhip told me I shall take you tot he Dowager Countess no matter what your wishes are…", Branson said as he had already started driving in the direction of the village.

„Oh, did he say so? Well now he is not here anymore, so I won't tell him that you did not obey his orders.", Cora tried again.

„I am sorry Milady but I got an order and I will do as he told me no matter if he is here or not.", Branson said smiling in the back mirror.

Cora gave in with a sigh. The last thing she wanted now was tea with her mother in law. She felt bad enough withoug Violet telling her off.

When they arrived she told Branson to wait in the car because it would not take long. Then she pulled herself together promising herself that she would not show her sadness to Violet. Then she entered the living room and Violet stood and came to her, not looking well herself. Her eyes were glassy and her face was red as if she had cried recently. Now it was even harder for Cora not to break down and as Violet embraced her , Cora lost it all. She started sobbing and her knees gave in again. Violet could hardly get her to the sofa before Cora could not walk anymore. „I am sorry", Cora said between sobs. „I am so sorry…"

„My dear there is nothng to be sorry about. We all are worried and frightened that we might not see him again."

When Cora had calmed down a bit Violet ordered tea. „Cora we have to be optimistic. I know that the war is dangerous but we also must live our lives. Of course we will worry about Robert but it must not keep us from living. You have tob e there for your girls. I know they are all grown up women but they will still need you."

„I know… I will try. Thank you." They spent the rest of the tea quiet but Cora had to admit that it was good to have someone who understood her feelings. She perfectly know she has to be brave in front of her girls. So there was only Violet she could come to. 2 Months ago she would never have thought that she would find comfort in talking to her mother in law and that her mother in law would embrace her.

When it was time to go, Violet squeezed her hand and said: „We might have not been best friends in the past 20 years but I hope you know that you can come to me for tea if you need a pause of playing the brave mother."

„Thank you Violet. This means a lot to me."

Then Cora went home. In the car she said to Branson: „Thank you Mr. Branson for beying loyal to my husband in this matter. However I hope this was the first and last time you disobeyed me."

„Indeed it was.", Branson smiled while driving.

When they arrived in front oft he house, she got out and breathed deeply and went in. Carson told her that Mary, Edith and Sybill were in the library. When she entered all three of them seemed to be deeply into their books but knowing them so well she could see at once that all three of them were just staring on the pages.

They looked up, when she closed the door. „Mother where have you been that long."

„I had a talk with your grandmother.", she said when she sat down.

„And I will repeat to you what she just has told me. It is allright to worry about your father but you must keep your lives going. Your fatherwants us to enjoy our lives as much as possible. Do you understand this?", Cora looked into 3 surprised looking pairs of eyes.

„Yes mother", they exclaimed in union. Then they came to her and hugged her.

From that day on Cora could see that they were trying really hard to pretend everything was allright. However sometimes she caught one of them sitting on the bench with the thouhghts miles away.


	5. Hell

Chapter 5:

_Sorry for the long delay but I was first busy, then sick and then busy again :D Here a short one. I have already written another chaptr by hand (while on the train) but I am simply too tired to tip it down tonight. Oh and I forgot what rank Robert had in military, so I used Collonel ;)_

Robert was lying in a trench, half sleeping . He was dreaming of his girls. They were making a picknick on the gren grassplane in ffront oft he house. Cora was laughing about something Sybill had said and even Mary and Edith were miraculously joking. Everything seemed so perfect, when suddenly a whistle blew. Robert just asked himself when Carson had exchange the dinner gong for a whistle when he realized that htis was the signal fort he officers to report tot he command shelter. With a sigh he opened his eyes and all of as sudden the peaceful feeling was gone.

He was lying on a wooden bench, that was covered with a blankett. Robert called himself lucky because as a Collonel he had his own small shelter and a valet, which was William. The young man came in and said: „Milord it is time… They've already called two times. You should get dressed." William tried his best to be good as a valet but he had never done this before and still made many mistakes. Robert was patient with the young fellow because he knew that as his valet the chances of survival were significantly better. This way William followed him everywhere and in contrast to many other officers Robert had already been in a war though many things had changed since the great african war.

In an attack he always tried to put his soldiers in advantage which was difficult if he would follow every stupid suicidial order he got from above. Sometimes he decided to take shelter in a shell hole instead of running blind towards the german trenches, which was in his opinnion waste of life. However, still he had to follow orders and therefore he sometimes lost as many man in an hour as were killed in the african war in half a day.

When the meeting was over he thought of this day to be his last. Some of the orders he got were insane. After he had briefed his men there was still time till the attack should start. So Robert told William to wait outside his shelter and wrote a letter to Cora.

When he came out William tried to look brave and determined but Robert knew the young guy was scared as hell. If he was honest he was not feeling any better but he was not allowed to show angst in front of his mend.

Then the attack started. He ran first, hoping his man would follow hi. Beside him he saw William. Suddenly there was a noise, as if a bullet just had mist Robert. When he looked back he saw taht William hit the ground, with an expression in his face that was a mixture of surprise and pain. Robert faced the german trenches again, but while he had been watching William fall, the enemy must have fired shells. Now the deadly weapons were coming down towards him. Suddenly Matthew was there. He caught Robert and pushed him into the nearest shell hole. But it was too late anyway. One shell came down a few meters besides them and while they were flying towards the hole that already was covered with blood and bodies of dead and injured man, Robert could feel a stinging pain in his right leg. Then they hit the ground. Matthew who landed on top of him was not moving at all.

Then everything went black.


	6. Letter of calamity

Chapter 6:

_First of all…. Thank you vor the guest review ;)_

It was spring at Downton Abbey. Birds were whistling their happy tunes, the trees were shining in white and pink, it could have been a perfect day for Cora if only Robert were at here side. They used to walk on the green grass enjoying the sun and privacy, talking about the girls ans sometimes even joking about their mothers. Now Cora was wandering alone in the park feeling a bit lost, when she saw Carson heading up to here, balancing a plate with the mail.

When she saw Robert's handwriting on the first letter herart jumped with joy and her hand wanted to grab the letter but she decided she wanted to read the letter when nobody was around. She knew she would start crying. Though the girls were already grown up young women she wanted to be the brave mother. Furthermore she had to be the elegant, calm Countess of Grantham who represented the house. However inside she was a worried, frightened wreck.

So she took the second letter and started reading.

_Carson's view:_

I happended to see the adresser when I took the mail and I immediatly knew bad news were in the letter. It was from the British Army adressed to Lady Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham. Normally they only sent letters if a husband or son was killed or missing in action.

When I looked on the other letter I recognized his Lordship's handwriting. Knowing the drama and sadness that would struck Downton Abbey in a short time I put his Lordship's letter on top, when I brought the mail to her Ladyship. Anyway she took the letter from the army first as I assume to read her husband's letter in privacy.

Then everything went very fast. Her ladyship gasped and gripped the paper hard as if the bad news would vanish if she destroyed the letter. Then she fell. I thought somehting like this would happen if she read the letter and so I caught her, while both letters landed on the grass. I lifted her up and carried her towards the house. Lady Edith came already running out oft he front door screaming for her mother. This alerted Lady Mary, Lady Sybill and Mrs. Hughes. Alle four oft hem headed towards me, her Ladyship still unconcious in my arms.

I told them that I think there are bad news in one oft he letters that were lying on the grass and Edith immediatly ran to get them. When I was nearly at the house I could hear fainted screams and hard sobbing and I assumed the girls must have read the letter too.

Then I went up, Mrs Hughes and Miss O Brien guiding me on either side. It was a strange feeling since all the staff was standing in the hall, most oft them pale with their mouths open as I passed them carrying the limp body oft he Countess of Grantham.

I put her on the bed in the main bedroom and went out, wanting to help the girls but when I came downstairs I saw the prettiest sight I have seen in more than 5 years. All three sisters were standing on the grass and hugging each other. In this dark hour oft he day I could not help but smile at this sight.

Then Edith broke the embrace and reread the last few lines of the letter: „.We sadly have to inform you that Collonel Robert Crawly, Earl of Grantham went missing in action on...", then she broke off and started shaking. Mary embraced her which would have caused the corners of my mouth to pull up again if I had not just heard the most dreadful news since her Ladyship's accident in the bathroom.

Sybill grabbed like her mother moments before. It seemed she simply could not bellieve what her sister just read and since always being the optimist oft he three sisters she said: „Missing in action is not dead. Let us keep our thoughts positive for Mama's sake."

When they embraced again I decided to bring the bad news to the staff. I told everyone to come downstairsl

Before I went downstairs I glanced one last time out oft he window. What a beautiful day I thought , almost perfect if only the second letter had never arrived.


	7. Love Letter

Chapter 7:

Cora awoke with a stir. She blinked and suddenly shot up in a straight sitting position. „Robert! What happened", she yelled. Then she saw her three daughters sitting next to her bedside as if she was dying . „Mother, try to remember: Father is missing in action. You got a letter today and….", Mary started to explain but was cut off by her mother suddenly breathing heavily.

Cora remembered clearly now and closed her eyes. Tears were gathering again but she breathed in sharply and focused on not crying. „Mother to be honest two letters came today. The second one was from father", Edith said worried.

Cora opened her eyes again and said: „ Where is it? I would like to read it…." But her hands were trembling so Sybill took the letter opened it and started reading:

_My dear Cora,_

„_I dreamed of you and our girls tonight. You were making a __picknick and everybody was laughing. Imagine even Mary and Edith were joking with each other and having fun",_ at this point Sybill smiled at her older sisters who were turning red but Cora squeezed their hands and smiled at them. „Go on honey."

„_I wished I was there with you. It was one oft he finest dreams I ever had here in the trenches before I got woken by a signal for a meeting. To be honest I am not sure I will…." _Sybill broke off, tears dropping down her cheeks. Edith took over for her after taking a deep breath: „_To be honest I am not sure I will still be alive when this letter arrives at Downton, I am not sure if I will survive today's battle or if it ever will find the way to Downton but I am glad I wrote it. I have to end now, it is time fort he attack. If I should die, please promise me you will at least try to be happy again. I love your smile and your laughter. Give the girls my blessings and my love. Tell Mr. Carson, that William…", _Edith paused. Now Mary gripped the paper and read on: „_Tell Mrc. Carson taht William is allright too (till now) and I even saw Matthew yesterday. They blow the whistle… I have to go._

_I love you_

_Ps.: If I die, I will die as a happy man because the last thing I will see is you sn the girls at the picknick."_

Mary lowered the paper and looked around. All of them herself included had tears in their eyes. Then suddenly the girls followed an impulse and flew into their mother's arms, so that she fell back on the bed. They started sobbing and finally all four oft hem fell asleep. Mrs. Hughes and Miss O Brien found them like this when the dinner gong had already rung but nobody was coming downstairs.


	8. The awful truth

Chapter 8:

Somewhere in France:

When he opened his eyes slowly light stung into them. He was not sure where he was. Still people were screaming for their mothers and the air smelled after dried blood and unwashed man.

First Robert thought he was still at the trenches but after looking down at him he realized he was lying in a bed, a hospital bed. He could hardly remember what happened , just that William fell behind him and a shell coming down towards him. Then there was Matthew and then nothing. „Matthew," Robert thought „did he survive?". He had to find out for Downton's sake, for Isobel's sake. He tried to get up but every inch in his body seemed to protest against his motion. He stirred and lay back again.

However his motion alerted a nurse, who looked like Sybill in her uniform, though it was not his daughter he saw with relief. He did not want any of his family, not even Cora to see him in this condition.

„What happened? Matthew!", he asked her when she stood beside his bedside.

„Sir, you must rest! You were seriously injured. I will get a doctor.", then she left without answereing his question. So he waited and tried to remember more details but everything was blurred.

Finally a doctor came up to him. He took a clipboard from the end of Robert's bed and read through it. „Well Collonel Crawley how are you feeling? Can you feel your leg?" Just as the doctor said this Robert could feel the pain in his leg. „Yes Doctor, I am afraid so. I wish I could not feel it right now.", Robert tried to smile.

„Sir, you are indeed lucky you can still feel it… we nearly had to amputate your leg. Anyway you are over the worst so we will send you home to England in a few days ."

Robert lay withh is mouth open, could not take in what he just heard. Did the doctor just inform him he was lucky to have still both legs.

„Doctor will there be any damage left or will I walk normal again some day?" From the expression the doctor gave him Robert could tell that he was going to limp for the rest of his life. However the doctor said: „We cannot tell in this stage. Time will tell us." „One last question Doctor. Did you hear anything from Matthew.. Matthew Crawley?"

Now the Doctor looked confused: „Sir but you are Matthew Crawly…."

„No I am Robert Crawley. Matthew is a relative. He rescued me from being killed by a shell."

„I am sorry there must have been a mix up. In this clipboard it says Matthew Crawley from Downton."

„Yes I am living there too….", Robert was getting more concerned every second that passed. „But maybe you could look for a Robert Crawley then in the hospital. If there has been a mix up it is obvious that they have given him my name if he survived the attack. One more question, does my family know I am alive?", Robert asked.

„I cannot tell you that. You were not found directly after the battle, so I think you are reported missing in action."

Robert inhaled and imagined how Cora reacted to the letter she got. Maybe she got both letters his own and the letter from the army on the same day! What horror it must have been for her.

The doctor excused himself and went off, leaving Robert alone again with his thoughts.

„If I am missing in Action and Matthew might be dead, and there was a mix up then Cora must think I am dead. I cannot write to her again, when I am transferred in a few days, the letter would not arrive in time…there is now possibility to let Cora know I survived at that…", thinking about that he dozed off again in a disturbed sleep.


	9. Picnic

Chapter 9:

_Carson's view:_

Dinner was hardly touched at all, again. I did not blame them, I was not hungry myself. Nobody was. Her Ladyship came down with her head bent trying to hide her swollen red eyes. She had been crying-again. They all ate a bit, so they would not starve but the girls were looking thinner than ever.

Two weeks had passed since the fatal letter arrived. I could see the hope in her Ladyship's eyes everytime I approached her with plate with letters. Of course she dreaded the day another letter from the Army would arrive as much as she hoped for it. It would mean truth and assurance even if his Lordship was dead she would finally know. However no letter arrived and I could see in her eyes that there was pain and hope inside her though she tried to keep the strong elegant fascade but she could not fool me. I had known her for more than 20 years now.

It was the same with the young ladies. They tried to keep the fascade to support their mother but everyone could see that they were nervous wracks inside. Today they decided to have a picnic at a small pond about a quarter of a mile away from the house. They decided to surprise their mother and do it the „American style", sitting on the ground on a blankett and serving themselves. Quite unusual and I was sure the Dowagar Countess would not approve of this but the girls tried hard to make their mother feel better and so I helped them prepare everyithing.

_Downton Abbey:_

Cora was lying in bed, she was spending most of her time in bed or in her quarters these days. Though the staff was shocked about the news they started going on now. She did ot blame them, she could not. She herself felt she should try to live as normal as possible when one's husband was reported missing in action but she could not force herself to live like last week. She simply could not forget the lines and the letter one minutes. When she went down for meals or shortly to get the mail every step was torture. She had to look normal, strong and elegant but she found it so hard to manage. So she had decided not to go down at all today. Cora knew it was unfair tot he girls and the staff but she felt so emtotional today that she was afraid she would start crying when someone only mentioned Robert's name or title.

Then it knocked at her door and Sybill stuck her head in. „Mother would you please come down. We have a surprise for you." Cora did not really want to do anything but stay in bed but she could not let her daughters down. They were in the same situation, someone they loved was missing. „Yes dear, in a minute."

„Please meet us behind the house.", Sybill smiled. It was Robert's smile, though their daughters looked like her otherwise , Edith and Sybill had Robert's smile. „Surprise, mhm, anything special I should wear?", Cora forced herself to smile.

„Just something comfortable", her youngster answered. Then she left and as the door closed Cora realized Sybill had not been in her uniform but was wearing a lovely blue dress, a rare sight, Cora thought. Sybill was throwing herself into work since the letter had arrived. Maybe it helped her going on.

She sighed at the face in the mirror. She looked older, her eyes were read, her face was haggard. She had lost weight the last week, her apetite had not returned since the letter had arrived. However this had to change. There was a chance that Robert wasl alive and she did not want to greet him looking like this, when he returned. „C'mon Cora, no more crying and mourning till the day the letter arrives, if it ever arrives.", she told herself. Then she called for O'Brien to help her dress. Before she went out the door she glanced into the mirror again. The Make up helped a bit and the dress made her look normal again.

She went down and decided to take the staff entrance behind at the backside oft he house. She got surprised looks but everyone seemed happy the Coutesss of Grantham finally tried to move on again. When she arrived ath the backside Branson was already waiting at the car. Her daughters were there too and motioned for her to get into the car.

Then they drove off and Cora had to smile, not forced but a real smile, the first in days. Mary and Edith were wearing a green and a red dress. Sybill's blue one and her yellow dress made the car very colorful. Then Branson stopped and Cora knew where they were going to. The pond, now she wanted to be everywhere but the pond. The water oft he pond kept so many secrets of her and Robert. They had spent many happy hours there just the two of them. There she also told him she was pregnant with Sybill. Anyway the girls did of course not know anything about this. So she got out of the car moving as if nothing bothered her, or at least she tried to. Anyway Edith was alereted right away: „Mother are you allright?". Cora inhaled the fresh air. „Yes dear. So what's the surprise?", she tried to change the topic.

„you will see", Mary grinned. After some meters they got to the pond and what she saw made her smile and cry at once. Everything was preparred for a picnic. No servants were there so it was just the 4 of them. The bright sun was shining onto the blankets and made them look golden. From the spot she could see Downton Abbey and a part of the main road which led tot he castle.

Sybill told Branson he could go back to the house because they would walk back. Branson nodded and left. Then the 4 of them sat and started eating and chatting. They had a lovely time though Cora was remembered of Robert's letter:

„_I dreamed of you and our girls tonight. You were having a picnic and everybody was laughing. Imagine even Mary and Edith were joking with each other and having fun"._

Cora imagined him standing at the part oft he road where you could see the pond, watching them. For a moment she thought somebody really stood there. He was as tall as Robert but he was leaning on on a woodenstick as if one leg was injured. Cora blinked and when she opened her eyes again the person was gone and she paid attention to her daughters again, telling herself that she was imagining things.


	10. The Return

Chapter 10:

The train was rocking and every once in a while Robert could feel the stinging pain in his leg again, though the healing went faster than expected the doctor now admitted that he would probably limp fort he rest of his life. However he was happy tob e alive, he was looking foward to see Downton Abbey again, to embrace Cora and the girls and to tell Isobel, if she did not know yet, that Matthew was alive but seriously injured.

William had not been that lucky , he died and Robert saw it. He would have to tell the staff since he was not sure William's father had already gotten the letter. Anyway at least he was told that the boy died before hitting the ground so at least he did not suffer.

He was thinking about the green grassplane and the trees of downton Abbey, colorful in spring and Cora dn the girls wandering around in ever so colorful dresses. His heart jumped at the thought of the last part. As a matter of fact now he was quite happy that Downton Abbey was turned into a hospital for veterans, since his transport was moved there. He would probably surprise Cora since he wrote no letter and also told Dr. Clarkson who was the head oft he transport not to inform them. He could not really walk far by now but he could walk short distances only leaning on a wooden stick. He was not sure how Cora would react to the sight of him limping and leaning on a stick.

Then the train finally rocked him to sleep and he only awoke when they arrived at Downton station.

_Carson's view:_

A new transport arrived this day. Normally Lady Grantham would have greeted it but since she got the letter of his Lordship missing, it seemed too painful for her, seing all the men returning home, injured though but alive.

So as head of service I had to welcome the new patients to Downton Abbey. At my side stood Mrs. Hughes who sighed slightly as the trucks arrived and the first soldiers were carried into the house on a stretcher others could walked by themselves. They had all something in common: though they were injured and and some oft hem lost arms or legs, all oft hem seemed happy tob e alive and safe now.

„All that young men, branded fort he rest of their lives. What a terrible war!", Mrs Hughes shook her head. I nodded and then went to meet Dr. Clarkson who was the head of transport. I did not need to tell him where to put the soldiers, he was perfectly familiar with the house and its rooms but I wanted to ask him if he knew anything about Lord Grantham. Suddenly I hear Mrs. Hughes gasp loudly. I turned to see if she was allright and she looked like she saw a ghost, white as a sheet, her mouth open, pointing in the direction oft he second truck. I followed her glare and understood her reaction, seing the soldier who was walking towards me now - Lord Grantham himself, leaning on a stick and limping but fine otherwise. He smiled at me and said: „It is good to be home Mr. Carson."

I tried to say something but I was in shock , nothing came out of my mouth. So Mrs Hughes who had recovered already stepped to my side and said: „Well it is good to have you home." His Lordhip nodded and then he did something he had never done before and would probably never do again, he squeezed both our hands and said: „I am sorry I did not call ahead but a letter would have been to slow. Where is my family?", at the last word I could see his eyes got glassy and he had to cotrol himself. „Well I am afraid they are not there yet. The young Ladies took her Ladyship for a picnic this afternoon to distract her.", I told him.

„A picnic you say", his eyes lightning up. „Did Branson drive them?"

„Yes M'lord but they sent him back insisting they would walk home."

„ Good. Tell Branson to be ready in 10 minutes. I am going to shave and put something else on. An Mr. Carson, mrs. Hughes, I can surely rely on the staff's dicretion on my returning. I want to surprise my girls", with this his Lordship walked into the house being greeted by very surprised staff who crossed his way by coincidence.

I smiled at Mrs Hughes and together with Dr. Clarkson we went into the house to tell the rest oft he staff that his Lordship had returned.

_Robert's view:_

It was good to be home. When I got out of the truck I looked at the house and turned around to watch the birds and trees at the park. Then I saw Mrs Hughes and Mr. Carson both in shock of seing me. They looke quite funny, both their mouths open and Mrs. Hughes pointing at me like a child points at a Bear or another dangerous animal. I had to smile.

After shaving and changing I went down the stairs wthich was quite painful and I had no idea how I ever would make them up again but the joy of seing my girls in some minutes made it worth hurrying down the stairs. Branson waited form e as I wished and when we both entered the car said: „M'lord welcome home. Say may I ask if you anything about Wiliam?"

Wiliam, I thought, of all the joy coming home, I totally forgot to tell Carson the bad news. I would have to tell have them before dinner but I decided to inform Branson right away: „ I am sorry Mr. Branson William was killed a few moments before Matthew and I were injured. However please don't tell the rest oft he staff right away. I feel obligated to bring the bad news downstaris myself. I think William's parents have already been informed."

Branson nodded slightly but I could see sorrow in his eyes. „mr. Branson, I am sorry. I know William and you were kind of friends but he died a brave death if this makes it any better for you."

„Thank you sir, indeed it helps a little", Branson smiled sadly.

„Where did you bring Lady Grantham and my daughters?", I was curious and excited now and it was hard to sit till.

„To a pond near the house. W e should there in a few minutes."

„oh the pond. Please let me get out oft he car right away.I am going to walkt he rest ", I demanded.

„As you wish.", Branson said and stopped the car atha spot where he was able to turn around again.

I got out and started walking thinking of all the great memories pond held for Cora and me. Today another one would be added. I came accross a tur oft he road and stopped. The sight that greeted me was breathtaking: The pond lay quiet in front of me, the reflection of the trees in it. On the left side oft he pond my 4 beautiful women were sitting ind colorful dresses laughing and joking. Cora was laughing hard at the moment and I could hear her bright voice over the distance. I wondered how many times she did that in the last few months and guessed not very often. Then Cora saw me and later I did not know why but I suddenly I could not simply walk uup to them greeting them as if nothing had happened. I felt uncomfortable and went out of sight. Now I could observe them without being seen. I observed them for a long time, simply standing there inhaling the sight oft he people I loved most in the world.

_So sorry that William did not survive in my story but tob e honest I did not really like the wedding betweend Daisy and William in series either._


	11. Guess who's coming for dinner

Chapter 11:

Since the moment Cora saw somebody standing on the road, or rather imagined it, she could not help but feeling observed. She pretended that everything was allright, she had gotten quiet good in pretending over the last weeks while pretending to be the brave mother and the calm Countess.

Her girls hade made her day nearly perfect and she had to admit that she had fun, the first time since Robert had left for war she really had fun. However, she knew that this day a new transport of soldiers arrived and as soon as they were back at the house the feelings of helplesness and hope were going to return. Though she knew it was not right, she caught herself envying the injured soldiers when their families visited. They were injured but at least they could be with their loved ones.

When Mary finally suggested that they should go home, she asked them to go ahead without her. Despite the feeling of being observed she wanted to spend some time alone, reminiscing about the quality time she spent with her husband at the pond. The girls did as they were told but Cora got a suspicious, worried look from Mary and Sybill asked: „Mother, are you sure you will be allrigt?"

Cora kissed her youngest daughter's cheek and said: „Yes darling, see you at dinner."

Then she was alone, staring at the pond. She remembered when Robert finally told her he loved her at this pond. She could see it clearly. They had kissed and then, young and stupid as they had been, they played hide and seek. When Robert found her he kissed her and one thing lead to another and a few weeks afterwards she found out she was pregnant. She never told Robert she thought that she conceived Mary at this occassion and now she would probably never get the chance to do so. She sighed and decided to leave. This place was too sad for her without her husband. She wanted to wander around for a while. When Cora got to the road and started towards Downton Abbey, suddenly she heard a noise behind her. Before she could even move, a familiar voice said: „Lady Grantham, would you give me the honor of your company, while I am onn my walk."

Cora smiled broadly but she did not turn. Instead she said: „My husband is missing in action. I don't think it would be appropirate for me, wandering around with anyone else."

„I happen to know your husband very well, Milady and I can assure you he does not care."

Finally Cora turned and looked at Robert. He looked fine but was leaning on a wooden stick. Now she knew that she had not imagined things before. He had been there all the time observing them.

Without saying anything else she approached him and they kissed passionately for a long time. When they finally seperated breathlessly, Robert cupped her cheek in his hands and looked at her. Then he pulled her close and she rested her ear against his chest feeling his heartbeat. None oft hem said something. Words were not necessary. After an eternity Cora lifted her head and said with tears in her eyes: „You are mean…. The last thing I heard , was you were missing in action. You know, the letter from the army arrived at the same time as yours!?"

„I thought so when I was in hospital but they told me writing another letter would not make sense, since the mail needs some time to get to England. So I decided I could surprise you as well.", Robert said smiling.

„How are the girls? I saw them walking home. They look great. I did tell you that the look like you more and more every day, didn't I? I have to look after them...",

Cora smiled and gave him a short kiss. „So you are on your own?", Robert asked. He smirked like a school boy.

„Yes. I told the girls I will see them at dinner.", Cora perfectly knew what he was up too.

„There is plenty of time till dinner. Any objections of refreshing some memories.", he took her hand and pulled her towards the pond.

„Sir, accompanying you on your walk is one thing but I am sure my husband would not approve of this.", Cora acted shocked.

„Bellieve me he does", Robert said to her before pulling her down behind some bushes.

_1 hour later:_

Cora's head was lying on Robert's chest and Robert was stroking her hair. They had not said a word for a while, both of them wanted to feel as much of the other one as possible.

Finally Cora pointed out: „Darling, we should get up. The girls are waiting and I don't want them to search for us and find us like this. Mary looked very worried at me and I'm sure if I don't get home soon she will start looking for me. Besides, with your leg we need more time."

Robert sighed. He had been worried how Cora would react to his injury but of course he should have known that she would not care at all. „Yes you are right…", he said kissing her forehead. Then they started to make themselves look again as if nothing had happened. When Robert tried to get up he winced. „Robert are you allrigt?", Cora asked in concern.

„I am sorry honey but I think fort he rest of our lives the roles are going to change and you will have to help me up, when I am sitting on the floor or grass.", he tried to smile though he looked rather embarassed.

Cora kissed him on the cheek and got up. Then she helped Rober,t pulling himself up. „Let's go, as I said the girls are waiting."

They linked arms and slowly they walked towards the big house. It was just now that Cora realized how heavily Robert was leaning on his stick and limping beside her but finally she knew that he was alive and was not going to leave her for any other war. She was nearly happy about his injury, though she thought it very selfish.

While they were walking Cora asked: „What about Matthew…is he….", she could not say the last part.

Robert stopped and looked into her eyes: „No he is not dead but he is seriously injured. He practically saved my life. I wanted to tell Isobel and Mary tonight. Unfortunately William was not that lucky, he fell at my side and later I was told that he was dead before he even hit the ground. Luckiy he did not suffer. I will tell the staff tonight."

Cora nodded slightly, not knowing what to say. No more word was said till they reached the house.

_Carson's view:_

The girls came home alone. I did not dare to ask if they had met their father because if they did not I would have destroyed his Lordship's surprise. So I went on with my work. When I was at the library once I saw a couple approaching the house walking on the grassplane. The man was limping and I knew immediatly that it was Lord and Lady Grantham. I smiled at the sight. If it had not been for his Lordship's limping one would not have imagined they were ever separated.

I sent for Lady Mary and told her to look out of the window, when she asked why I sent for her.

Rolling her eyes like her mother she went to the window and saw the couple. After some moments she gasped and whispered:

„No… no that can't be"

Then she put a hand to her mouth . After he had recovered from the first shock she yelled for her sisters. They rushed in and then Lady Mary simply pointed to the window as Mrs Hughes had done when the patients and his lordship arrived this afternoon.

Lady Edith's and Lady Sybill's reactions were similiar to their sister's but then suddenly all three of them ran out of the library laughing like small girls. Then I witnessed the most beautiful scene Downton had expierienced in years: The girls were rushing out the doorway not caring about the rule that Ladies don't run. Her Ladyship saw them first and pointed them out to her husband. Then she stepped back to let her daughters welcome their father back. Despite their rush the girls saw he was heavily leaning on the wooden stick and slowed down instead of simply throwing themselves around his neck and probably pushing their father off his feet, hurting him. Instead they went to hug him tightly one by one. Sybill first, then Edith and then Mary.

Then all oft hem embraced, her Ladyship included, for a very long time. When they finally separated Lord Grantham offered his arm to his his wife. Lady Sybill took the walking stick away from her father and linked arms with him, so he could lean on her too. Mary and Edith followed some steps behind, talking to each other peacfully.

Though spring had given us some beautiful days in the last few weeks, none of them had been perfect with his Lordship in war, today was indeed a perfect day.

,


	12. Epilogue

_Epilogue:_

He surprised his mother at the dinner table and saw her crying fort he first time since his father died. The dinner went by too quick, Robert himself tensinng up every minute that brought him closer tot he bad news he had to tell the staff about William.

After Dinner Cora offered to go downstairs with him but he told her, he had to do this on his own. When he finally told them, they reacted shocked and sad but all seemed glad he did not suffer.

Then he retired sleeping well fort he first time in months beside his beloved wife, who even hugged him tightly in his her sleep afraid of losing her husband again. He could hardly imagine what she and the girls went through in those weeks they did not know about him and Matthew but he thought of it as nearly as bad as the trenches.

Then he dozed off dreaming once more of a picnic but this time he really was part o fit.

_So guys this was it…. I hoped you liked it. Please review! Oh and I am really bad in calculating, so I was not sure anymore what time period went by from the time Robert told Cora he loved her till Mary's birth :D I am not sure that part is right, but it is fiction anyway. Furthermore I did not write too much about Matthew's return, we all know how that ended :D  
I want to thank all of you for reading the story and reviewing. It meant a lot to me that also native English speakers made it through and liked the story... best compliment for a non-native:D_

_Last but not least I want to thank my grandmother, who is already in heaven now, for telling me so many stories about her youth, my grandfather (whom I unfortunatel never met) and WWII! it helped me creating some parts of the stories_


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